


Equal Opportunity Objectification

by kaitlia777



Category: Glee
Genre: Alternate Universe, Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-01
Updated: 2013-04-01
Packaged: 2017-12-07 05:30:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,034
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/744817
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kaitlia777/pseuds/kaitlia777
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Based on the tumblr gif set ~ AU: Nerd!Sam has a crush on a cheerio!Blaine.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Equal Opportunity Objectification

**Author's Note:**

> Notes: Sorry for any typos. My transcription software doesn’t always understand what I say and I don’t always catch the mistakes. I have trouble typing things by hand since I suffered an injury last year to my right hand and it seizes up if I try to do too much.

**  
**

Leaning back against the wall, Sam tried to be subtle as he watched the swarm of red and white clad Cheerios strike down the hall, confident, beautiful and untouchable. Most boys were entranced by the short skirts and prettily swinging ponytails, but Sam wasn't most boys.

No, he'd spent the last year and a half in love with the co-captain of the Cheerios, one Blaine Anderson, the most gorgeous boy Sam had ever seen. Compact and strong, Blaine was rather small but radiated an intense charisma. His eyes were amazing, liquid Amber surrounded by thick black lashes and the way he always gelled his hair so neatly made Sam just want to see him rumpled, maybe sleepy eyed and drunk on kisses….

A pipe dream, Sam knew. Blaine was one of the most popular boys in school and Sam was a nobody. Sure, he'd tried to establish himself during his sophomore year, but after a shoulder injury that ended his athletic career at McKinley, he'd fallen down the social ladder.

He'd fallen far.

Even the other nerds and dorks didn't really like him, as usually they were at least smart and Sam had to fight his dyslexia to get passing grades.

He knew his place in the grand scheme of things and told himself he could be content to quietly pine away. It was better than the humiliation of rejection.

**  
**

Brittany S. Pierce was a woman on a mission.

People thought she was dumb and okay, she knew she wasn't supersmart about everything, but she wasn't a total idiot. She saw more than most people realize. Maybe not school stuff, but people….

They confused her, but she understood the important stuff.

She knew people needed people, needed love. Being lonely even when you had dozens of friends, that was something that could eat a hole in your heart.

Her friend Blaine was lonely and his smile didn't quite reach his eyes anymore. His breakup with Kurt had left him emotionally battered.

So Brittany decided that the only course of action was to find him a new dolphin to love.

Unfortunately, there weren't many boy dolphins (or even half dolphins) at McKinley and there was no way she was letting that Smythe kid from Dalton get his hands on Blaine.

She was starting to have doubts about her plan when she saw him. Sam Evans, a cute but super dorky boy who was in several of her classes, was trying to stare at Blaine without being noticed. There was such longing in his eyes that it made her heart hurt and it was then that she decided he was the one.

Peeling off from the group of Cheerios, she waited until the hall was more or less empty before approaching Sam, who was fussing with his school bag.

Never one to beat around the bush, she said, “I want to help you, Sam. I know about your crush on Blaine.”

He blinked at her, clearly startled. His eyes were really pretty shade of green. “I don't know what you’re talking about,” he protested, cheeks turning in an adorable shade of pink.

“I saw you staring,” she told him, dismissing his protest with a smile. “I'm going to help you get your man!”

Sam looked nervous. “Why would you do that?”

“Because everybody deserves love,” she said, then cocked her head to the side. “What are you doing this afternoon?”

With a shrug, Sam mumbled, “Homework.”

Nodding, she held out her hand and, when he stared blankly, grabbed his, interlacing their fingers. “You're coming to my house!”

**  
**

Hanging out at Brittany's was actually kind of fun. Sure, he was pretty certain her cat was evil (it had thrown up on his shirt ) and she had spent 20 minutes lecturing the animal about the dangers of smoking, but she had been nothing but friendly.

Unfortunately, all of her ideas as to how he could catch Blaine's attention were…out there.

Heaving a tired sigh, he said, “I really need to work on my speech for our public speaking class. Maybe we can work on Operation Blam another day.”

They had managed to come up with a cool name at least.

“No,” Brittany groaned, flopping over to hug a pillow. “We need to get you two together. Blam will be so cute! Seriously, how has no one noticed how adorable you are? We just need to get you seen!”

“I've spent the last two years trying to avoid attention,” he murmured, then paused, something niggling at his brain. “Brittany? I think I have an idea.”

Sitting up, she gazed at him eagerly. “Ooh, what?”

“The speech we have to give,” he said. “I'll be up on the stage in front of the entire senior class… Darn, all the speeches are always so boring. He'll probably fall asleep.”

Britney pursed her lips, then nodded decisively. “I'm calling in reinforcements!”

**  
**

Though she really hadn't understood most of Britney's rambling conversation, Kitty found herself standing in the older girl’s bedroom not a half an hour after her phone call. To her surprise, Britt wasn't alone.

A tall, muscular blonde boy in jeans and a thin white wife beater was standing awkwardly by the dresser. He was handsome, with good features, green eyes and amazing lips and Kitty stared at him for a moment before turning to Britney. “Who's the hottie and aren't you dating Santana?”

The boy paled and Britney laughed. “Silly, Sam's not for me! He's for Blaine!”

“Oh,” Kitty replied, cocking her head to the side. “Well, he looks clean. What corner did you find him on?”

“Hey!” the boy protested, pouting impressively. “I'm not a rent boy! I'm a senior at McKinley.”

“No way,” she said immediately. “I'd recognize you.”

“Sam goes to school with us,” Brittany confirmed. “He's just…not popular.”

The boy—Sam—sighed. “I'm a dork, so it's safer not to be noticed… Only I guess I've gotten too good at it,” he said ruefully.”

“So we want to do a presentation for speech that will get Sam noticed,” Britney finished. “Noticed by Blaine. So they can be adorable and get their hot boy kisses on!”

Kitty smiled. “Take your shirt off.”

Both Sam and Brittany immediately peeled their tops off. Kitty had seen Britt many times in the locker room, but Sam….

Damn, the boy had a body that looks like someone him lovingly sculpted out of marble, all perfectly defined muscles and taut, creamy skin….

Totally drool worthy.

“Okay, here's the plan….”

**  
**

“What are you doing here?” Blaine asked as Kitty settled into a chair beside him in the auditorium. She was a sophomore and was required to be there to see the always tedious speeches that seniors were all required to give and witness.

The girl smiled and propped her feet up on the chair in front of her. “I helped Britney with her speech,” Kitty told him and Blaine heard the smirk in her voice. “Trust me, this will blow everyone else out of the water.”

Coming from Kitty, that sounded ominous.

He didn't have time for further questions, as Britney walked out onto the stage in a pencil skirt, a blue button up blouse (buttoned primly to the neck), glasses and her hair in a neat twist.

When she stopped at center stage, she asked, “When you look at me right now, what do you see?”

“Sexy librarian,” a voice said as a boy stepped out onto the stage. “Sexy schoolteacher. Sexy businesswoman.”

The boy speaking was tall and blonde, strikingly handsome in a dark suit and red power tie. He was vaguely familiar, but Blaine couldn't place him.

“When you look at me right now,” the boy continued, “what do you see?”

“Handsome,” Brittany said in a strong tone. “Confident. Professional.”

“I'm not objectified,” the boy said, taking a step forward.

Britney stepped back. “I am.”

“Doesn't seem fair,” the boy opined, then turned to smile at Brittany. “I mean, were both dressed really nice. But society sexualizes her and not me.”

“What's going on?” Blaine asked Kitty, who shushed him. “Who is that?”

“Is it because I'm a woman?” Brittany asked. “Is it because everyone looks at me dressed like this and has been taught to think that there's a sex bomb underneath just waiting to break free?”

“A total double standard,” the boy agreed. “A woman in conservative attire doesn't equal closet stripper wannabe and a man in a suit….”

A pounding bass beat echoed from the sound system as Britney finished, “… Can be hiding a lot!”

The boy wasn't hiding much as he tore his shirt open, shrugging it and the jacket off, red tie hanging down a perfectly sculpted chest and brushing incredible labs. He was dancing to the music, body rolling seductively and Blaine felt his mouth go dry.

What was happening?

The dance didn't last for long and when Britney cut off the music she said, “So yeah, you're not going to stop objectifying women….”

“But maybe now you'll at least be a little more equal opportunity with your assumptions,” the boy concluded, grinning as Britney tugged lightly on his tie and led him off the stage.

A stunned silence filled the auditorium before cheers broke out and Blaine turned to Kitty. “Who was that was Britney?”

“Sam Evans,” Kitty told him offhandedly. “He's in your year.”

“What?”

“Super hottie, huh?” she sighed. “Such a disappointment that he's not interested in getting under a Cheerio skirt.”

Blaine blinked. “Not interested… As in….”

She snorted. “He plays for your team. Ask Britt for his number.”

**  
**

Later that day, Sam entered the auditorium again, this time finding Blaine sitting at the piano, plucking out a tune. He was wearing his Cheerio uniform as always and looked really, really amazing in it….

Shaking his head, he said, “Brittany said you wanted to see me?”

Blaine looked up at him and gave him a soft, knowing smile. “She told me everything.”

Sam froze. She told him! “Wow,” he said, biting his lip and looking down, “this is embarrassing.”

“Don't be embarrassed,” Blaine replied with a smile. “That show you put on was impressive. Ever thought about trying out for the Cheerios… Or glee club?”

Flushing, Sam shifted. “Uh, no… I usually try to stay out of the spotlight.”

“But you put yourself out there today,” Blaine murmured, standing and stepping towards Sam. “Because you wanted me to notice you.”

“Yeah.” Since Britney had already told Blaine, there was no reason to lie about it. 

Blaine cocked his head to the side. “I asked around about you,” the dark-haired boy told him. “I hear you're into comics. Marvel or DC?”

Surprised that he knew the difference, Sam smiled. “Both, dude. How do you choose between Superman and the Avengers?”

“Or Batman and the X-Men,” Blaine agreed, then held out his hand. “Gimme your phone. Next time, just talk to me. I really don't bite, Sam.”

Placing the phone in Blaine’s hand, Sam swallowed. “So… What would you say to catching a movie with me sometime? Maybe having dinner before?”

“I'd say that sounds good,” Blaine replied with a smile. “Though dating me isn't really a good way to avoid attention.”

“Somehow,” Sam said, reaching out and brushing his fingers over Blaine’s wrist, “I'm pretty sure you're worth it.”

The way Blaine’s face lit up made any potential embarrassment totally worth it…and the kiss they shared after their date even made up for suddenly being thrust into the front of McKinley's gossip sphere.

Suddenly, a lot of possibilities appeared open to Sam and he wondered if he'd just been too scared to take any chances before. While the Cheerios word his thing, he did join glee club and found a new, eclectic circle of friends there.

The last few months of his senior year were the happiest of his high school career. He had friends who like him, a boyfriend who loved him and art school to look forward to.

Art school in New York City… Where he was going to share an apartment with Blaine.

Taking chances still made Sam wary, but he’d learned to look past the fear and find the amazing possibilities that lay beyond.


End file.
